Regarding Multiples and Phantom Limbs (2009)
Column: Otherkin and Draconity Advice
Regarding Multiples and Phantom Limbs (2009)
Normally I don't post much, but I feel that I may have special incite into this particular topic, whether my contribution will have negative, positive or neutral consequences, I cannot predict, but here it goes. I first awakened in the mid 90's and between the years of 1998-2008, I had multiples. As well, over the years since I have had countless sensations of phantom limbs. So I have had at least a decade to run around lost in various confusions and assumptions, left to figure it all out generally on my own.
Now then, First let me tackle the topic of phantom limbs. Many years ago I believed that P-shifting was a physical possibility and I tried countless methods to bring about such a transformation, in the time periods of those experiments I had phantom limbs, you name the limb, I experienced it, off and on, day and night, wings, tail, horns, scales, I felt everything. As a disclaimer, P-shifting obviously was/is impossible and I eventually learned that with time. But, what of those phantom limbs? The obvious answer, is that I willed them there, I believed in them, and thus I felt them, it was simply the mind fulfilling a desire. Now, before I am looked at in shock by my friends here, I did not necessarily say that there was not a spiritual aspect, only that the sensation was willed. The understandings and cause of the sensation are subjective to whomever is having the experience.
To the rational mind, the phantom limbs are simply the mind fulfilling a need. Likewise, to the spiritually minded, the feeling is the consciousness willing the spirit or aura to take on the desired or associated form. The primary point I wish to make here is that spiritual or not, whatever your mindset may be, it is still the individual who is generating the sensation, consciously or unconsciously. In result, I must agree with many others here that phantom limbs are in no conceivable way proof that an individual is otherkin, and this is coming from someone who once vehemently claimed otherwise.
Now then, for the multiples aspect. As said, between the years of 98-08 I had three separate personalities or "minds" Jafira a playful green dragon, Veltra, a wise yellow dragon, and a black dragon Korageth whom is/was my spiritual identity. These three separate minds interacted with my own mind on a day to day basis, much like imaginary friends in my head. When circumstances called for a trait that one of these dragons had, they would bump my mind aside and take charge. For example, I am very shy, so in a social situation, Jafira would bump me and take control, if I had to take a test or an exam, Veltra would bump me and take control. Although these dragon companions were considered to be a spiritual experience at the time and those dragons were as real and free thinking to me as you the reader, what I was experiencing was obviously a variant of dissociative identity disorder.
Much like the phantom limbs, I willed those dragon persona's into existence either consciously or unconsciously. Those identities or persona's responded to a psychological need and ceased to exist after I had matured to the point that they were no longer necessary. Now, much like the aforementioned phantom limbs, the case can be made that the experience was purely a mental malfunction, But, through devils advocate, the case can just as easily be made that they are spiritual guardians or psychological/spiritual partitions, the fact remains that whether spiritual or chemical, the phenomena is still generated by a psychological need and is likely temporary. As a result, having multiples does not and should not constitute proof that one is otherkin. Nothing can prove such a thing, it is simply a matter of personal and individual faith, and those who try to prove such, may likely only be attempting to prove their beliefs to themselves.
For full disclosure, I had a terrible childhood with many life threatening and traumatic incidents, it left me psychologically scarred and socially stunted, the appearance of Jafira and Veltra as identities in my teens were obvious coping methods for adapting from my screwed up past, and assimilating into the real world. I accept that my past spirituality was clearly a case of multiple personality disorder, however, I also believe that their presence within me had a possible spiritual influence, that those partitions of my consciousness were possibly aspects of my higher self, be it draconic or otherwise. However, it could just as easily have been a chemical imbalance, it is up to individual interpretation and I can only go off of faith and only faith there is no such thing as spiritual proof. All I can say about my own multiples, is that as detrimental as they may have been in some cases, when they existed, we had an unbreakable bond, and I loved them.
Either way, allow me to close with the disclaimer to those who have multiples, it is not a game, having those multiple aspects is a double edged sword, you have companions who will never leave your side, but you are also in a process of growth. They are probably there for a reason and something is likely wrong and in need of correction, that said, those experiencing such mindsets should not be afraid to question themselves and discover the root or source of their multiples. In my opinion, we all have only one spirit and one mind, all else are partitions of the latter. Done, I hope my experiences were somewhat helpful to the discussion and I apologize as always for the length of my posts. :oops: