General Otherkin Advice #1 (2014)

Column: Otherkin and Draconity Advice
Author: Jafira

Letters to Jafira: Quote: "You mentioned the importance of examining the awakening memories in your draconity guide, but I'm not sure how to do that because spiritual things are difficult to be proven by science after all. So how exactly do you examine them?" In answer to your question I must admit that there is no real way to go about examining awakening memories, it is all very subjective, its a matter of personal faith, For myself, when I was a teenager I had only a few flashes, dreams and some extremely strong emotions to interpret from, I believed I was a black dragon and that I likely existed on another world. Being young at the time I ended up writing a fictional story based on what I wanted that life to be like and then convinced myself that it was truly my history. A couple of years later when I was challenged to substantiate the evidence for that history all I had to fall back on was the aforementioned dreams and emotions, so I had to be honest with myself and just state that I felt in my heart as a matter of faith that I may have been a black dragon and abandon the false history or narrative behind them. The point I was hoping to convey was to be honest with oneself and try not to trick yourself into believing a memory or scenario just because it may have made sense or been what you would like to have happened. I personally only have three possible memories, one of flying over a valley, one of possibly being with my mate and the event of my supposed death. Each is a strong emotional scene, but they're also subjective and unprovable, they are each a matter of faith based on the emotion involved. In writing that others should examine their possible memories I just meant that I didn't want newly awakened or those possibly curious to fall into a trap of filling in gaps and making up a fake reality like I did. That it was better to have a few personal emotional memories as a foundation rather then a false narrative that you've convinced yourself is true. I wanted to convey the importance of meditating on why the reader believed the possible memories related to their kinism and to determine if they were based on fantasy and egotism towards a desired reality or if they were based off of a more personal source. I just wanted the readers to do their best to be honest with themselves was all. You would be surprised how many kids have come up to me in the past saying they were otherkin when all they had done was taken a favorite role play character and decided that they were the entity or persona just because they thought it made sense at the time. Once challenged to actually look into their beliefs on a deeper level they realize this and tend to move on. Others have had “evidence” or the feeling most of their lives and have other experiences/emotions to anchor them in faith outside of a possibly fictional history. Questioning the source of ones memories just helps to separate the two groups. Quote: "I love my mate very much, but I'm afraid that if I fall in love with a human one day it may be a disloyalty to my mate. What do you think about it" One of my fondest possible memories was a dream of being intimate with my perceived mate from my last life. For many years I was convinced that if I had ended up on this world, maybe she had been born here to and that perhaps we were still connected and would meet. It was honestly one of the motivations for making my dragonkin web sites, I thought that if I put my existence out on the web she might find me. In that sense my website was partly created as a beacon to lead her to me. In the past I turned down many relationships in my youth and although I was emotionally close to many friends I never truly dated anyone until my early twenties because I was still holding out hope for finding “her”. In time though I started to philosophize about the possible nature of ones soul and on the topic of reincarnation. I came to the personal conclusion that if reincarnated spirits truly exist, then physical existence was possibly meant for our spirits to learn and experience new things. (I was raised to be agnostic so had no spiritual upbringing of any sort to draw from, these were simply my own personal views) I wondered, if I had once existed as a squirrel and had a mate, then fell from a tree and died would I still have a sense of loyalty to that last mate if I reincarnated as a dragon next? I concluded that each existence most likely has a unique new mate to diversify the growth of the spirit. I also felt that although I loved my old mate, if she were unable to be on this world with me I felt she'd want me to move on and try to be happy without her. It took me many years to break away from the loyalty and searching for my old mate but I chose to move on and prayed she'd forgive me and live a new life without me. Since then I have been happily partnered for several years, I still miss my old mate at times but I felt in my heart she wouldn't want me to let her hold me back in this life. Quote: "In your consideration, should otherkin stuff be known and understood (if they can) by the public like homosexuality? Or would it be better to keep it as a secret? I would like to know your opinion on this." In my consideration, otherkin topics and discussion should be kept out of the public eye for the time being. I say this as it is honestly a very controversial belief and impossible to be substantiated outside of personal faith. Although that statement is true for a variety of religions and beliefs I personally feel that we would be unfairly targeted for ridicule due to the low numbers of experiencers and the relative newness of our existence to the social mainstream. Although there may be some evidence of possible dragonkin and therians throughout select pantheist or animist mythologies in human history that we could try to point to, the topic in a modern context would likely be interpreted as an internet phenomena or fad and may not be taken entirely seriously. I do believe that in the coming years there may be a time when the topic could be more openly discussed in the mainstream without ridicule, but at present I feel the global kin community needs some more time in the shadows to settle, mature and find its cultural voice. Frankly we're just too new, prior to the internet anyone with kin beliefs would likely had been isolated and alone, there were few ways for possible kin to know that they were not insane or the only ones with their beliefs. Suddenly over the past thirty years we are beginning to find each other around the globe. So it does make sense that we are a new group, but we'll have to exist long enough to show that we are not a passing fad. The otherkin/therian community as a whole will likely need more time to evolve and grow before we can begin to seek such acceptance from the public. Remember a lot of what I write is my own speculation based on personal experiences. Remember the obvious - that spirit and understanding of ones self is unique to the individual and that only you can determine what is true for your personal reality. I'm just sharing my thoughts, remember in all things know yourself and who you are. ~Jafira Dragon

Published:  10/13/2019