It is not uncommon for some otherkin to have moments of questioning or a weakness of faith, the most important thing to know is that it is okay. Being otherkin is not like a dogmatic belief that will punish you for questioning it, rather it requires a high degree of such in order to be personally honest with oneself. It is no surprise that many otherkin will be challenged, modern society and common beliefs will typically look down or frown upon the concept of otherkin and that knowledge leads to questioning.
Many times within my life I have abandoned the belief that I am a dragon. - “its foolish”, “its imaginary”, “its wish fulfillment”, “its psychological projection” those are all things that I would tell myself. As well many times during my life my belief was shaken to its core and I was often forced to re-examine over and over again throughout the years what I believed, gradually trimming away what was ego and desire and leaving only what faith and emotion would not allow cold logic to remove.
For many years it was a struggle to express to myself or believe that I was once possibly a dragon without feeling insecure or insane. I learned that if I bluntly said “I am a dragon” the burden of proof was upon me and I would often be torn down. But that If I said “I perceive that I was once a dragon” it became more a matter of faith, spirituality and belief, the simple re-wording helped to relieve confrontations and doubt. I had learned to say to myself, “I may have been a dragon in a prior life, I can not prove it, but it is what my heart tells me, it is what I perceive my spirit to be. I am human today and can live this life, but I feel I may have once been something else and that is what my spirit tells me.”
But enough rambling, in short life is hard and stressful, it brings us down and our obscure otherkin beliefs can become an emotional liability which can cause us to doubt and avoid it or to simply push it in to the background. But when you see that perfect image of your kintype somewhere or when you visualize just the right scene and those old emotions all come rushing back, it becomes kind of hard to deny that there is something there and something to it.
It's okay to doubt and there will be times in life in which that doubt may last for quite a long time. But when there is that little spiritual/emotional/special connection to your kintype beneath the surface, then faith always tends to find its way back in time. Its just something that doesn't go away. During those phases of distance, it never hurts to remind yourself of your connection to your kintype, through music, videos, stories, or art.
Personally I collect art of my kintype and of associated characters or creations of mine to help pick me up when I feel down, I combine viewing them with music that is personally emotional to me. Sometimes, like this past summer I may just need to distance myself from the belief and focus on the present life and of course, getting out to nature also tends to help.
Never be afraid to doubt, what is true, if it is true, shall not vanish, only be suppressed and rekindled later anew like a fiery phoenix, live your life in peace and balance, all will be as it is meant to be.
Otherkin and Draconity Advice: A collection of advice letters Jafira has written in the past.
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